


Let's Touch Face

by gusherbug



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: M/M, Near Death Experience, Pining Idiots, Scientific Method, face touching, married old men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23582017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gusherbug/pseuds/gusherbug
Summary: There literally is no fandom tag for this yet so FIRST i guessChatlog style Benrey/Gordon(I did not change the description after i posted this)
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 80
Kudos: 1052
Collections: HLVRAI





	1. Let’s Face It

_[In an abandoned computer room, the Science Team has taken shelter for a rest. One by one, they awaken, Gordon being last to rise._

_Tommy has to shake him a bit to wake him._

_Tommy looks from Benrey, who is sitting on the ground, back to Gordon as he groggily sits up.]_

**TOMMY** : Was Benrey looking for your passport, Mr Freeman?

 **GORDON** : When-What? When? What did he do? Oh god, what did he do?

 **TOMMY** : He kept touching your face!

 **GORDON** : Benrey. Were you touching my face? Like, when I was asleep? Is that what we’re 

doing now?

 **BENREY** : you have a-a face, i was checking.

 **GORDON** : You were checking if I had a face? You couldn’t tell by looking?

 **COOMER** : Hello Gordon!

 **GORDON** : Hello Dr. Coomer-Benrey, were you-

 **BENREY** : tommy was scared you didn’t.

 **GORDON** : Tommy, is that true?

 **TOMMY** : No! I’m scared but I know you have a face!

 **GORDON** : So you’re lying, you’re lying to my face, which I have.

 **TOMMY** : Are we fighting?

 **GORDON** : No, Tommy.

 **TOMMY** : I don’t understand what’s going on!

 **BUBBY** : Well, Tommy, when two people like each other-

 **GORDON** : I don’t like him.

 **BUBBY** : -they may want to stay close to each other-

 **GORDON** : I hate him. 

**BUBBY** : -and when one touches the other’s face-

 **GORDON** : I wish he was dead.

 **BUBBY** : -and that’s how babies are made.

 **GORDON** : I don’t-Can you please stop lying to Tommy? For a second?

 **COOMER** : Some babies are grown in big tubes! Isn’t that right, Bubby?

 **BUBBY** : Yes!

_[Gordon rubs his temples, turning back towards Benrey. He is floating in the air, now “sitting” on a pigeon.]_

**GORDON** : You’re awfully quiet. See, I’m not convinced that you weren’t planning something. Whatever the hell could possibly involve touching my face.

 **BENREY** : routine inspection.

_[Bubby shoots the pigeon.]_

**GORDON** : Do I even want to-Do I even want to ask why you did that? Bubby?

 **BUBBY** : Accidentally loaded, prepared, and shot my gun!

 **BENREY** : we need to make sure your face uh doesn’t break the rules

 **GORDON** : And there’s no rule against touching my face?

 **TOMMY** : It said that touching your face was encouraged!

 **GORDON** : Who said that. Who is telling people to touch my goddamn face?

 **TOMMY** : I wasn’t paying attention, I saw a big snail!

 **COOMER** : Effervescent!

 **GORDON** : Can you three sit in the corner for a second?

_[Gordon motions them to shoo]_

**GORDON** : I need to talk to Benrey.

_[Tommy, Coomer, and Bubby huddle across the room, watching from their peripheral vision._

_Gordon kneels down to be level and make eye contact while Benrey remains sat on the ground, now covered in pigeon blood.]_

**GORDON** : Benrey. Barney. Whatever your name is. Be real with me.

 **BENREY** : i’m not real.

 **GORDON** : I’m not sure if you are either, man, but just be honest with me.

 **GORDON** : What the hell is wrong with you.

 **BENREY** : well what’s wrong with you-

 **GORDON** : We’re not talking about me, we’re-

 **BENREY** : i let you in here and now you’re acting weird.

 **GORDON** : I’m acting weird.

 **BENREY** : yeah.

 **GORDON** : _I’M_ acting weird?

 **BENREY** : see look what you did.

_[Benrey points at the other members of the Science Team, who appear to be deep in a recital of an article about flatworms, but still keeping a side-eye.]_

**BENREY** : you scared them off.

 **GORDON** : I ASKED them politely to go over there.

 **BENREY** : it’s contagious. i’m getting scared of you too.

 **GORDON** : They’re not scared of me-Why would _YOU_ be scared of me? I just watched you try to eat one of those bigass spider things.

 **BENREY** : i don’t know i just look at you and feel like i’m going to vomit

 **GORDON** : Are you sure that’s not because you tried to eat an alien spider?

 **BENREY** : i’ve never felt fear before

 **BENREY** : maybe i wouldn’t be scared of you if you had your passport

 **GORDON** : Always back-Always back to the passport, it’s all passports with you.

_[Gordan buries his face in his hands for a moment, then inhales and exhales.]_

**GORDON** : You don’t look very scared.

 **BENREY** : i am 

**GORDON** : No bullshit, give me one good reason why you’d be touching my face while I sleep. I have had it up to here with your shit, with you fucking with me constantly, and all I want-

 **BENREY** : are you mad

 **GORDON** : -all I want, is to know why the fuck-

 **BENREY** : you seem pretty mad bro

 **GORDON** : -You know what? Yeah. YEAH, I’m mad. Everyone everywhere has been trying to play games with me, but you specifically are just-

 **BENREY** : maybe if your face wasn’t pretty i wouldn’t touch it

 **GORDON** : -absolutely insufferab-What?

 **BENREY** : 

**BENREY** : huh?

 **GORDON** : What the fuck did you just say to me?

 **BENREY** : i think you need to calm down

 **GORDON** : You can’t just-

 **BENREY:** i didn’t say anything 

**GORDON** : Yes, you DID!

_[The scientists turn their heads fully. The eavesdropping has paid off.]_

**GORDON** : I have been having the worst work day of my life and all you can think about is my face being pretty?

 **COOMER** : Right again, Bubby! Sounds like Benrey has a little crush!

 **BUBBY** : Aww~

 **GORDON** : We are two grown men-

 **COOMER** : Isn’t young love beautiful?

 **GORDON** : I am going on my thirties-Not sure about Benrey, I think he might surpass the concept of time-

 **GORDON** : Ok, look. We’re all adults here. A compliment does not mean anything, and we have much more important things to do than this. This is nothing. Right, Benrey?

_[Gordon looks back to Benrey for confirmation. Benrey is blushing a little.]_

**GORDON** : Oh for the love of fucking-Benrey stop that. Stop. Stop.

 **BENREY** : stop what

 **GORDON** : THE FUCKING-That! You’re getting embarrassed and it’s making everything worse!

 **BENREY** : this is a threat display

 **BENREY** : means if you eat me you’ll die

 **GORDON** : You’re not a fucking frog it doesn’t work like that.

_[Coomer is tinkering with some scrap metal.]_

**COOMER** : If I do this right, we may be able to add the sexual tension to TvTropes without a computer!

 **BUBBY:** Great idea!

 **GORDON** : There’s no tension-Ok, I’m sick of this. I’m sick of you all. Not you Tommy, but everyone else.

 **BENREY** : don’t touch my tvtropes section

 **BENREY** : it’s all i have left

 **BENREY** : nobody will ever understand me without a-a grocery list. a grocery list of things that vaguely apply to me.

 **GORDON** : I don’t even know what we’re talking about right now.

_[Gordon stands up.]_

**GORDON** : Ok, we’ve rested enough. Stop talking about flatworms and shit, we need to get to the Facility, okay?

_[The Science Team rises to their feet, Coomer still attempting to access TvTropes from a glorified aluminum foil ball.]_

_[Coomer, Bubby, and Tommy take the lead off, leaving Gordon and Benrey to themselves for a moment]_

**GORDON** : ...Ok, Benrey?

 **GORDON** : Do me a huge favor and stuff all your emotions down until we get out of here. I’ll give you my passport, you can do whatever you need to do, right now we’re in mortal peril.

 **BENREY** : kay

 **GORDON** : And, man. You are a terrible liar. Learn to shut up sometimes.

 **BENREY** : you’ll have to make me

 **BENREY** : the hard way

**GORDON:**

**BENREY:**

**GORDON:**

**BENREY** : the _hard_ w-

 **GORDON** : No, I get it. I get it. Funny.

 **BENREY** : it’s pretty funny

 **GORDON** : Whatever you say, man.

 **BENREY** : i have the perfect Sweet Voice to make you laugh at my joke

_[Gordon and Benrey finally begin walking to catch up with the team. Gordon turns his head to hide a smile.]_

  
**GORDON** : I hate you so fucking much.


	2. Takes Two, Does It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon and Benrey have a very odd relationship. Bubby and Coomer investigate.

_[It felt as if they had been walking for days, yet the Science Team was mere hours deeper into Black Mesa.]_

_[Through an abandoned corridor, they agreed to take a rest right there.]_

_[Benrey is in the lead, followed close by Gordon.]_

_[He stops too abruptly, and turns to ask something from Gordon.]_

_[But Gordon keeps walking. He immediately trips over Benrey, hitting the ground with a deafening CLANG.]_

_[Benrey pauses for a moment, realizing what just happened. He makes a noise like a starting lawn mower as he starts to stifle a laugh. The noise immediately is broken by a goblinesque cackle.]_

**GORDON** : Yeah, okay, very-

_[Benrey purposefully laughs louder to cut him off.]_

**GORDON** : _VERY FUNNY._

 **BENREY** : think you mean-

_[He does a high pitched, annoying imitation of Gordon.]_

**BENREY** : _~fucking hilarious~_

 **GORDON** : I do not sound like that.

 **BENREY** : you have ears don’t ya

 **BENREY** : that was uncanny. it was spot on

 **GORDON** : I understand that everyone has a different perception of-

 **BENREY** : i could impersonate you on the internet

 **GORDON** : -I’m trying to respectfully disagree with you, for once, I am going to be fucking civil with you-

 **BENREY** : wuhhh bluhhh blah bluhhh

_[Benrey sticks his tongue out. While mocking Gordon, he reaches a hand out and struggles to help him up with the weight of the HEV suit.]_

**GORDON** : -Jesus, how OLD are you? 

**BENREY** : enough

_[Coomer, being the strongest, jogs over and assists Benrey. Gordon gets back to his feet, but he waves a half hearted thank you to Coomer and goes straight back to bickering with Benrey.]_

**GORDON** : You know what? 

**BENREY** : what

 **GORDON** : I am sick of your shit.

 **BENREY** : i’m sick of _your_ shit

 **GORDON** : First, you demand a passport, then you-you FUCK UP the whole experiment, and then you start touching my face while I sleep-

 **BENREY** : that didn’t happen

 **GORDON** : Yes. Yes it did.

 **BENREY** : no

 **GORDON** : Tommy saw you.

 **BENREY** : no he didn’t

 **GORDON** : You-You fucking told me. You told me yourself. You ADMITTED TO IT. A confession to a crime can’t just be taken back-

 **BENREY** : i plead the fifth

 **GORDON** : You’re pleading GUILTY, you already did that and-God, my FACE? My face is pretty to you? Because YOUR face is pretty, too, pretty FUCKING IRRITATING-

_[Benrey and Gordon fall back into an argument. Their insults begin to drown each other out.]_

_[Coomer looks to Bubby, making a conflicted face. Bubby shrugs back.]_

_[Tommy is nearby, fiddling with a key card lock on a steel office door.]_

**BENREY** : maybe i did

 **BENREY** : so what

 **GORDON** : So-

 **BENREY** : wanna kiss about it

 **GORDON** : If you’ll STOP asking me to-

_[A loud beep breaks the air, and Gordon finally snaps out of his yelling-at-Benrey trance to look over.]_

**TOMMY** : It’s open! :)

 **GORDON** : Alright, thank you Tommy.

 **TOMMY** : You’re welcome! There’s some medkits in here!

 **BENREY** : didn’t say no

_[Gordon whips his head back towards Benrey, and once again the petty arguing fills the air.]_

_[Bubby glances to Coomer and waves him off to huddle together around the hallway corner.]_

**COOMER** : Yes?

_[Bubby makes a motion waving downwards to tell Coomer to keep his voice down.]_

**BUBBY** : (You saw all that right?)

 **COOMER** : (Yes.)

 **BUBBY** : (What the _fuck_ was that?)

 **COOMER** : (It would appear that we have a very tense rivalry amongst us!)

 **BUBBY** : (Yes, but-)

 **BUBBY** : (I thought we just went over this. We had a whole thing and Benrey got embarrassed and Gordon’s acting like they hate each other again.)

 **COOMER** : (Perhaps Benrey’s cool and calm demeanor is what is pissing Gordon off!)

 **BUBBY** : (What are they doing here? Is it mutual? Benrey’s saying nothing happened.)

_[Bubby suddenly feels a poke on his shoulder.]_

**TOMMY** : Why are we-

 **BUBBY** : _GOOD LORD-_

_[Both of the scientists jump back. Tommy has approached them from behind and startled them.]_

**TOMMY** : Sorry!

 **BUBBY** : Don’t-

 **COOMER** : Keep it down! Sh!

 **BUBBY** : (Don’t do that! I’m old, you could give me a heart attack!)

 **BUBBY** : (You know how hard it is to grow a new heart?)

 **TOMMY** : (I’m sorry!)

 **TOMMY** : (Why are we whispering?)

 **BUBBY** : (We got some pining idiots in this team.)

 **COOMER** : (Good one! That should be a tagged trope in a fanmade narrative!)

 **BUBBY** : (Thank you!)

 **TOMMY** : (Ohh! So we want Gordon and Benrey to kiss and make up?)

 **BUBBY** : (Maybe we should save half of that for later.)

 **BUBBY** : (I have an idea.)

 **TOMMY** : (That’s-uh. Not usually a good thing?)

[Bubby explains.]

_[They seperate the Science Team.]_

_[Bubby strings Gordon along to get a confession. Coomer does the same to Benrey. Tommy pretends to get lost to make sure his technological prowess doesn’t poke holes in the plan.]_

_[Coomer goes in for the kill, striking up small talk with Benrey as they walk into the office Tommy had forced open. Normal stuff, like the intellectual morality of copy pasting research from Wikipedia.]_

_[Benrey wanders a bit inside, spacey. As quickly as he can, Coomer’s enhanced joints separate and extend, allowing him to quickly command the door shut from the outside, before slipping his robotic limb back to normal just as the door slammed shut.]_

**COOMER** : ...Oops.

 **BENREY** : i don’t like that word

 **BENREY** : what happened

_[Coomer turns, suppressing a smile.]_

**COOMER** : It appears the door is locked!

 **BENREY** : oh good

 **BENREY** : awesome

 **BENREY** : cool

 **BENREY** : could you unlock it please

 **COOMER** : It’s locked from the outside, Benrey.

 **BENREY** : yeah could you go outside and unlock it

 **BENREY** : please

_[Gordon turns, realizing the door is closed.]_

**GORDON** : That doesn’t-Bubby, does that door open from the inside?

 **BUBBY** : I don’t know.

_[Gordon kicks on the door some. It’s pure steel, locked behind a mechanism to swipe a keycard.]_

**GORDON** : SHIT-How did you even DO that?!

 **GORDON** : Tommy, can you get this open?

 **GORDON** : ...Tommy?

_[Tommy is gone.]_

**GORDON** : Awesome. Great! Great.

 **BUBBY** : If Tommy’s gone, we’ll need the keycard, Gordon.

 **GORDON** : Where did he even-ok, yeah, we need uh. God, we need a supervisor clearance card to open that.

 **GORDON** : Ok-Fuckin’-Just hang tight, we’ll, uh, we’ll get y’all out.

_[The two halves of the experiment part ways as Gordon and Bubby begin the search.]_

_[All was going perfectly.]_

* * *

_[Gordon and Bubby end up in a row of cubicles, rummaging through desks and filing cabinets.]_

_[Bubby thinks. There must be some way to bait Gordon into getting on the subject of romance.]_

**BUBBY** : ...Gordon, you’ve never really talked about family, have you?

 **BUBBY** : A man your age should have someone to go home to, shouldn’t he?

 **GORDON** : I’m not sure if that’s even relevant.

 **BUBBY** : There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Gordon!

 **BUBBY** : Whether you have a lady friend is a perfectly normal topic between friends.

 **BUBBY** : ..Or a guy!

_[Gordon sighs, not looking up from the file cabinet he had selected.]_

**GORDON** : Listen-Bubby, buddy, you’re a little way too old for me.

 **BUBBY** : I-What?

 **BUBBY** : _...OH._

 **BUBBY** : No. Ew. No. Ew.

 **GORDON** : No?

 **BUBBY** : No.

_[Bubby shuffles in his dress shirt pocket for a moment, pulling out a small, intricate patterned velvet box.]_

**BUBBY** : I don’t wear my ring, Gordon.

 **BUBBY** : It got really fucked up last time I did.

 **GORDON** : Oh-OH! Okay. Uh.

 **GORDON** : Sorry. Nobody really-Don’t get that question asked, y’know, genuinely.

 **GORDON** : ...How do you fuck up a wedding band?

 **BUBBY** : We work in Black M-

 **GORDON** : RIGHT, yeah. Yeah. Fuck this place.

 **BUBBY** : And setting things on fire.

 **GORDON** : That suuuure is a thing you do.

_[Gordon fakes a cough, and goes back to digging through files.]_

_[Shit. That didn’t get anything out of him.]_

_[Bubby has a particularly wretched idea spring to mind; not to say his ideas aren’t usually wretched. They are.]_

_[If he had to take a classic informed guess, Bubby would think that jealousy would be one of Gordon’s worst vices.]_

_[His only supporting evidence may have been knowing Gordon's reputation for picking out of everyone else's lunches, but it was worth a try.]_

**BUBBY** : Well, all's well that ends well then!

 **BUBBY** : Benrey’s all clear, I presume?

 **GORDON** : All clear? The hell are you talking about?

_[Gordon dumps papers onto the ground. No key card.]_

**BUBBY** : We’re too smart for monogamy, Gordon!

 **BUBBY** : Benrey’s an attractive man.

 **GORDON** : Alright, whatever, dude.

_[When Gordon barely reacts, Bubby presses harder. There has to be a nerve to touch.]_

**BUBBY** : You do have to admit that his features perfectly align.

 **GORDON** : ...Dude-

 **BUBBY** : Haven’t you seen his eyes? Nothing could beat that level of dead goldfish charm.

 **GORDON** : Bubby.

 **BUBBY** : I haven’t even talked about his-

_[Gordon whips around, throwing papers in frustration. He has something tight in his fist as he snaps.]_

**GORDON** : If I wanted to know how attractive Benrey is-I’d just fucking _LOOK_ at him! I HAVE eyes!

 **GORDON:** I can just _SEE_ how attractive he is!

_[A beat passes.]_

**BUBBY** : So you _do_ think he’s attractive.

 **GORDON** :

 **GORDON** :

 **GORDON** : 

_[Gordon flashes the card he was holding, slightly bent from the force.]_

**GORDON** : Key card.

 **GORDON** : Cool. Where did that come from? Who knows.

 **GORDON** : We can go now.

 **BUBBY** : Didn't say no.

_[Gordon slaps his forehead in frustration.]_

**GORDON** : I hate-I hate Black Mesa, I hate BENREY, I hate this fucking situation, and-I stress this part, I need to make sure you get this part-

 **GORDON** : I hate YOU.

* * *

**BENREY** : i’m just saying

 **BENREY** : it’d be pretty funny

 **BENREY** : i got a helmet

 **COOMER** : Benrey, I am not using you as a battering ram!

 **BENREY** : please

 **COOMER** : No!

_[Benrey sits down by the door, crestfallen.]_

_[They are still alone in the barren office room, sealed away. Papers, overturned desk chairs, and chaos caused by the staff escaping the Resonance Cascade surrounds them.]_

**BENREY** : gordon would’ve slammed me head first against the door

 **BENREY** : give me a concussion

 **BENREY** : call that fuckin

 **BENREY** : uh

 **COOMER** : Call that what?

 **BENREY** : give me a MINUTE

 **BENREY** : GOD

_[He focuses very hard, staring into space.]_

**BENREY:**

**BENREY:** call that a

 **BENREY:** uh

 **BENREY:** call that a theoretical physics-al assault

 **COOMER:** Aw.

 **COOMER:** Would you like to try that one again?

 **BENREY:** best i got

_[Benrey needs to busy his hands. He picks up some documents and begins to fold them.]_

**COOMER:** Benrey, do you like Gordon?

 **BENREY:** psshhhno

 **COOMER:** You touched his face.

 **BENREY:** c’mon man, inspection. all up to code.

_[Benrey is making something that could, in theory, be called a crane.]_

**COOMER:** You got very embarrassed about it.

 **BENREY:** naw i turn red when i’m. uh

 **BENREY:** when i’m real mad

 **BENREY:** grrr

 **COOMER:** You aren’t a chameleon! I’m afraid it just doesn’t work like that!

 **BENREY:** whatever. hey how many heads do cranes have?

 **COOMER:** I’d like to bring up the kissing, then.

 **BENREY:** it’s a taunt

 **BENREY:** russian one

 **BENREY:** really russia’d gordon there didn’t i

 **COOMER:** Do you know what Russia is?

 **BENREY:** no i’m not a fuckin commie

 **COOMER:** Oh dear! One of our own has fallen to the residual Cold War propaganda stuck to modern society!

 **BENREY:** what no it’s just a funny word

_[Benrey has now made what is either a cootie catcher, or one of the many ‘Ropes’ they’d encountered. He is running low on paper.]_

**BENREY:** i heard it from a giant computer once

 **BENREY:** it didn’t like communism at all

 **COOMER:** Now, Benrey, is now really the time for niche references to cult-classic tabletop roleplaying games that the fans are unlikely to ever hear, much less understand?

 **BENREY:** stop using so many words

 **BENREY:** come over here pick me up and slam my head through the door

 **BENREY:** that’d be pretty rockin

 **BENREY:** pretty-uh

 **BENREY:** pretty sweets

_[Coomer prepares to answer, when a loud beep breaks the air.]_

_[The door is open. It seems in the journey back, they had either caught Tommy failing to hide, or he had found them once again.]_

_[Gordon peeks through cautiously, then steps back and motions for Coomer and Benrey to exit.]_

**COOMER** : That was.. quick.

 **BUBBY** : I got as damn close to a confession as we’re-

_[Benrey greets Gordon a bit louder, more firm than normal.]_

_[Bubby stops, glancing over.]_

**BENREY** : yo.

_[Benrey immediately approaches Gordon and places his hands on both of his shoulders.]_

_[Tommy whips his head to smile at Bubby and Coomer, giving two thumbs up. The other three hold their breath.]_

**GORDON** : Uh. Hi Benrey.

 **BENREY** : hey man

 **BENREY** : will you

 **BENREY:** uh

_[Benrey avoids eye contact, clears his throat, then removes his hands.]_

**BENREY** : will you

_[Gordon feels anxiety gnaw at him. He has no fucking idea what’s going on.]_

_[Benrey finally turns his head, and points to the corridor behind them.]_

**BENREY** : will you bash my head against that door

 **GORDON** : Will

 **GORDON** : Will I fucking what

_[Tommy grimaces, slowly turning his hands downwards to instead give a thumbs down gesture.]_

**BENREY** : yeah i wanna see what happens

 **GORDON** : A-You get HURT, you get a concussion, that’s what’s gonna happen! 

**BENREY** : i’ve never had one

 **BENREY** : i wanna know what it’s like

 **GORDON** : It’s an INJURY, you can’t just taste test them like they’re fucking frozen yogurt!

 **BENREY** : it’s fine i have a helmet

 **GORDON** : That ISN’T GOING TO-

_[And, as it has happened time and time again, the two become lost in their own bickering.]_

_[Bubby lets an exasperated groan escape, but all Coomer does in response is laugh.]_

**TOMMY** : ...What now?

_[Coomer wraps his arms around Bubby and Tommy respectively, pulling them in to whisper their experiment’s conclusion.]_

**COOMER** : They’ll figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you thought it had ended? you thought i'd stop? no. i gotta keep going. wayne has read lines of this. i must do it for the good of humanity  
> plug it off and back in again  
> hlvrai blog: thebenrey.tumblr.com  
> my WEBCOMIC where i DO STUFF: https://strangeschoolevenstranger.tumblr.com/tagged/update/chrono/


	3. A Touching Reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon and Benrey face the facts.

_ [And after setting off again, the Science Team is taking a well earned rest deep within Black Mesa.] _

_ [They’re in a large test room, brandished with empty tubes meant for holding humans not unlike Bubby, with a cold concrete floor and a balcony many, many feet above them.] _

_ [Sitting criss-cross on the floor, Tommy observes Coomer’s extendo-arms.] _

_ [He runs a hand down the arm, which flares and separates into sections to reveal wiring and metal underneath.] _

**TOMMY** : You’re uh-You’re like a Transformer!

**COOMER** : I don’t believe there are any quite like me!

**BUBBY** : That’s not true.

_ [Coomer and Tommy turn to see Bubby leaning down, standing over them to interject.] _

**BUBBY** : Trust me, I know a thing or two about turning into a car.

**TOMMY** : What else can they do?

_ [Bubby kneels and sits down besides Tommy.] _

**COOMER** : I can do this!

_ [His arm stretches quickly, and in a quick motion, he smacks Gordon in the back of the head and puts his arm back to normal length before Gordon can turn around.] _

**GORDON:** _HEY-_

_ [Bubby breaks down laughing as Gordon stands up indignantly.] _

_ [Benrey walks into the room from behind a tube.] _

**BENREY** : nice

**GORDON** : Wait-Where the hell were YOU?

**GORDON** : Have you been gone-you weren’t even here this whole time?

**BENREY** : don’t worry about it

**GORDON** : I’m gonna worry about it.

**BENREY** : i told you not to

**GORDON** : I’m worrying about it as we speak.

_ [Bubby glances upwards towards the balcony, back down, and then his head shoots up towards it.] _

**BUBBY** : Gordon-

**GORDON** : You can’t just go off and do whatever the FUCK you want!

**BENREY** : why not

_ [Bubby rises, agitated.] _

**BUBBY** : Gordon!

**GORDON** : Oh, really, no idea, maybe it’s the APOCALYPSE!

**BENREY** : you call this an apocalypse

**BENREY** : not even uh

**BENREY** : not even any radiation

**GORDON** : There _ is  _ radiation. There’s plenty of radiation. It’s-

_ [Bubby flinches] _

**BUBBY** : _GORDON!_

_ [In a split second, three things happen.] _

_ [1: A shot is fired.] _

_ [2: Blood begins to gush down Benrey’s forehead.] _

_ [3: Benrey wobbles, then collapses.] _

_ [Tommy leaps up and fires several shots towards the balcony above.] _

_ [The pained scream of a soldier sounds in the air, and the assailant collapses, half hanging off the guard rails.] _

**TOMMY** : Holy shit!

**GORDON** : Benrey?

_ [Shaky, Benrey tries to give a bloody thumbs up from the ground, and fails.] _

**GORDON** : _BENREY?_

**GORDON** : Tommy-Find a first aid kit. Find a fucking-find a thing. Blood thing. Find a station. WHAT IS IT CALLED?

**TOMMY** : I think-

**GORDON** : GO FIND ONE!

_ [Tommy nods quickly, and runs off.] _

_ [Gordon crouches down to lift Benrey, but stumbles and drops him on the floor again.] _

**BENREY** : cool

**BENREY** : cool claw machine move

**BENREY** : rigged so you can’t-can’t get your kirby toy

**GORDON** : Will you please-

_ [Gordon’s voice is strained, and he takes a knee to cradle Benrey’s head, searching for the bullet wound.] _

**BENREY** : uh oh

**GORDON** : What-What’s uh oh?

**BENREY** : i got shot

**BENREY** : idiot

**GORDON** : I AM VERY AWARE.

_ [Coomer extends a hand to try and help Gordon lift Benrey, but Bubby lays a hand on his shoulder and pushes him backwards.] _

_ [They are silent, but both understand.] _

_ [Gordon holds Benrey’s helmet until he feels out where he was shot.] _

**BENREY** : hey

_ [Gordon bites his lip, wiping blood off his hand on his own HEV suit.] _

**BENREY** : hey

**GORDON** : What-

**GORDON** : You-You’re BLEEDING OUT, man! What do you WANT-

**BENREY** : look who’s touching face with who now

_ [Gordon hesitates.] _

_ [He blinks, confused, and finally registers the location of his hand.] _

_ [Gordon is cupping Benrey’s face. Gently, truly holding Benrey’s cheek.] _

_ [And then, Gordon starts laughing. Loud, boisterous, and unashamed, he breaks down in a fit of laughter.] _

_ [Benrey joins him. In fact, Gordon is laughing so hard he drops Benrey. The two only laugh harder when Benrey hits the floor.] _

_ [Tommy runs back in with medical supplies in his arms, only to slow and watch the pair in hysterics.] _

**TOMMY** : ...Um. Did I miss-uh. I miss something?

**COOMER** : Yes!

**COOMER** : It was quite a touching moment!

_ [The three continue to watch at a distance. Neither Gordon or Benrey seem to acknowledge any aspect of the world around them.  _

_ [They’re in their own bubble, and it’s their whole universe in that moment.] _

**BUBBY** : This means nothing, does it.

**COOMER** : Nope!

**TOMMY** : They’re-ah. They’re going to go right back to normal as-uh, as soon as we get going, aren’t they?

**COOMER** : Yes!

**BUBBY** : Maybe that’s just how they work best.

**BUBBY** : An infinite snark feedback loop.

**COOMER** : I never suspected for a second they’d suddenly drop the act and become lovebirds!

**TOMMY** : Kinda sounds like you did.

**COOMER** : Never!

_ [Bubby sighs and slings an arm around Coomer.] _

**BUBBY** : Well, we learned nothing.

**COOMER** : We did learn not to try and force an intimate relationship between two people whose dynamic is already interesting and healthy!

**BUBBY** : ...Nah, I’m gonna do that again at some point.

**COOMER** : Not if I have anything to fucking say about it!

**TOMMY** : I think-uh-maybe this is all a joke gone really-horribly wrong.

_ [A beat passes.] _

**TOMMY** : ...You uh. You guys wanna go talk about flatworms?

**BUBBY** : GOD, yes.

**COOMER** : Absolutely!

_ [The laughter dies down as they begin to discuss, and slowly the bickering returns between Gordon and Benrey.] _

_ [And all in all…] _

_ [It was better that way.] _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, so you read let’s touch face! yes. the very first hlvrai fanfiction on ao3. wow
> 
> this was written, at first, as an inside joke with my dear mealfriend ozzy after we binged the first 3 acts of hlvrai
> 
> that’s all this was to begin with. frenrey was our inside joke. i had literally no idea what the ship would become when i wrote chapter 1
> 
> this fics seen soem shit. when it was first posted, wayne saw it. and later, he read some of it while plastered out of his fuckin bean
> 
> i have no idea how it ended up like this. this was never the plan
> 
> so.. thanks ?? ?? ?!?!??!?!
> 
> thebenrey.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> hey. you read my thing, thats pretty cool  
> did you know? that i have original stuff? check out my comic if you like my writing shout out to cosmo for explaining how to plug my stuff on ao3  
> https://strangeschoolevenstranger.tumblr.com/tagged/update/chrono/


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